13 mayo 2020

Duelo desde la distancia: ¿Cómo se vive la pérdida en tiempos de resguardo?

Por Florinda Pargas Gabaldón.

Según la OMS, el duelo es una respuesta, normal y saludable, frente a una pérdida. Es nuestra manera de caracterizar las emociones que sentimos ante la pérdida de alguien o algo muy importante. El duelo es la forma de asumir las consecuencias psicoafectivas y el proceso de adaptación emocional. Tiene varias dimensiones: emocional, física, cognitiva, filosófica y conductual. A todas debemos atender y revisar, ya que se integran, afectando todo nuestro comportamiento. El proceso del duelo, tiene sus etapas:

Aceptar la realidad: esta etapa inicial es más difícil y podría activar actitudes de negación, evasión, rabia o frustración.

Experimentar la realidad: asumir la situación y negociar con nosotros mismos la forma cómo la enfrentamos.

Sentir plenamente las emociones: activar nuestra inteligencia emocional, identificando nuestras emociones, las cuales pueden ser contradictorias (tristeza-alegría, rabia-miedo)  para procesar y actuar en consecuencia.

Adaptarnos y aprender a vivir la ausencia: cierre del proceso en el cual aceptamos la pérdida.

No hay recetas, ni fórmulas, para vivir este proceso. Su duración e intensidad dependen de muchos factores: el tipo de pérdida, la cercanía emocional, las circunstancias que rodean la pérdida.

En mi caso particular, estoy viviendo el duelo de la partida de mi padre, luego de una larga y dolorosa enfermedad. Desde hace meses entré en una etapa de pre-duelo, cuando comprendí que el final era inevitable. Aún así, cuando recibes la llamada que anuncia la ausencia definitiva, las emociones se activan y mueven todo tu ser.

En este período de resguardo y distancia social, los duelos se hacen más intensos, ante la imposibilidad de abrazarnos y llorar en los hombros de nuestros seres queridos. La despedida es absolutamente simbólica.

Comparto mi experiencia, como una manera de apoyar a otros que están viviendo circunstancias similares, pero también, como parte importante de mi propia sanación emocional.

¿Qué acciones he puesto en práctica?

  • Respiración consciente y meditación.
  • Llorar, reír y volver a llorar. Dejar fluir mis emociones, sin cuestionar si está bien o mal.
  • Aceptar y agradecer los mensajes y expresiones de afecto y compasión.
  • Consolar a otros, familiares y amigos, comprendiendo y compartiendo el sentimiento.
  • Caminar, recibir el sol y el aire en el rostro, escuchar la naturaleza.
  • Tomar mucho líquido, hidratarnos, con sopas y bebidas calientes. Alimentar el cuerpo y el Alma.
  • Detenernos, descansar, dormir, incluso pequeñas siestas. Tiempo para “resetear” y digerir la situación.
  • Leer, escuchar música, cantar, recordar momentos gratos.
  • Aprovechar la tecnología, conectar por chats con la familia, vídeo llamadas y mensajes, que nos mantengan unidos y conectados.
  • Escribir, en mi caso particular, es una de las experiencias más sanadoras y terapéuticas, me permite expresarme y compartir mi experiencia con otros.

Te invito a vivir tu experiencia de duelo, plena y saludablemente, aceptando el quiebre, comprendiendo que de cada fragmento, de cada astilla, surge un nuevo brote. La clave es vivir plenamente el proceso, renovando y floreciendo. Cuando te quiebres, renace.

Florinda Pargas Gabaldón

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496 comentarios

  1. Excelente contenido, te hago llegar mis condolencias por el fallecimiento de tu Padre, Raul Pargas, un hombre de la industria publicitaria local que no olvidaremos nunca, su genio y talento trascenderán hasta el final de los tiempos.

  2. Estimada Florinda, te leo y te mando un sentido abrazo por tu perdida, con el deseo de que la transformación que acompaña estas vivencias sigan construyendote. Un gusto haberte encontrado en la reunión que tuvimos ayer y el escuchar tus acertivos (y sabios) comentarios.

    1. Saludos Federico, agradecida con tus reconfortantes palabras. Para mi también ha sido un gusto el encuentro, espero se repita y sigamos intercambiando ideas constructivas y enriquecedoras, para ambos.

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