13 mayo 2020

Duelo desde la distancia: ¿Cómo se vive la pérdida en tiempos de resguardo?

Por Florinda Pargas Gabaldón.

Según la OMS, el duelo es una respuesta, normal y saludable, frente a una pérdida. Es nuestra manera de caracterizar las emociones que sentimos ante la pérdida de alguien o algo muy importante. El duelo es la forma de asumir las consecuencias psicoafectivas y el proceso de adaptación emocional. Tiene varias dimensiones: emocional, física, cognitiva, filosófica y conductual. A todas debemos atender y revisar, ya que se integran, afectando todo nuestro comportamiento. El proceso del duelo, tiene sus etapas:

Aceptar la realidad: esta etapa inicial es más difícil y podría activar actitudes de negación, evasión, rabia o frustración.

Experimentar la realidad: asumir la situación y negociar con nosotros mismos la forma cómo la enfrentamos.

Sentir plenamente las emociones: activar nuestra inteligencia emocional, identificando nuestras emociones, las cuales pueden ser contradictorias (tristeza-alegría, rabia-miedo)  para procesar y actuar en consecuencia.

Adaptarnos y aprender a vivir la ausencia: cierre del proceso en el cual aceptamos la pérdida.

No hay recetas, ni fórmulas, para vivir este proceso. Su duración e intensidad dependen de muchos factores: el tipo de pérdida, la cercanía emocional, las circunstancias que rodean la pérdida.

En mi caso particular, estoy viviendo el duelo de la partida de mi padre, luego de una larga y dolorosa enfermedad. Desde hace meses entré en una etapa de pre-duelo, cuando comprendí que el final era inevitable. Aún así, cuando recibes la llamada que anuncia la ausencia definitiva, las emociones se activan y mueven todo tu ser.

En este período de resguardo y distancia social, los duelos se hacen más intensos, ante la imposibilidad de abrazarnos y llorar en los hombros de nuestros seres queridos. La despedida es absolutamente simbólica.

Comparto mi experiencia, como una manera de apoyar a otros que están viviendo circunstancias similares, pero también, como parte importante de mi propia sanación emocional.

¿Qué acciones he puesto en práctica?

  • Respiración consciente y meditación.
  • Llorar, reír y volver a llorar. Dejar fluir mis emociones, sin cuestionar si está bien o mal.
  • Aceptar y agradecer los mensajes y expresiones de afecto y compasión.
  • Consolar a otros, familiares y amigos, comprendiendo y compartiendo el sentimiento.
  • Caminar, recibir el sol y el aire en el rostro, escuchar la naturaleza.
  • Tomar mucho líquido, hidratarnos, con sopas y bebidas calientes. Alimentar el cuerpo y el Alma.
  • Detenernos, descansar, dormir, incluso pequeñas siestas. Tiempo para “resetear” y digerir la situación.
  • Leer, escuchar música, cantar, recordar momentos gratos.
  • Aprovechar la tecnología, conectar por chats con la familia, vídeo llamadas y mensajes, que nos mantengan unidos y conectados.
  • Escribir, en mi caso particular, es una de las experiencias más sanadoras y terapéuticas, me permite expresarme y compartir mi experiencia con otros.

Te invito a vivir tu experiencia de duelo, plena y saludablemente, aceptando el quiebre, comprendiendo que de cada fragmento, de cada astilla, surge un nuevo brote. La clave es vivir plenamente el proceso, renovando y floreciendo. Cuando te quiebres, renace.

Florinda Pargas Gabaldón

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35 comentarios

  1. Excelente contenido, te hago llegar mis condolencias por el fallecimiento de tu Padre, Raul Pargas, un hombre de la industria publicitaria local que no olvidaremos nunca, su genio y talento trascenderán hasta el final de los tiempos.

  2. Estimada Florinda, te leo y te mando un sentido abrazo por tu perdida, con el deseo de que la transformación que acompaña estas vivencias sigan construyendote. Un gusto haberte encontrado en la reunión que tuvimos ayer y el escuchar tus acertivos (y sabios) comentarios.

    1. Saludos Federico, agradecida con tus reconfortantes palabras. Para mi también ha sido un gusto el encuentro, espero se repita y sigamos intercambiando ideas constructivas y enriquecedoras, para ambos.

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