13 maio 2020

Luto à distância: Como você vive a perda em tempos de abrigo?

Por Florinda Pargas Gabaldón.

Segundo a OMS, o luto é uma resposta normal e saudável à perda. É a nossa maneira de caracterizar as emoções que sentimos com a perda de alguém ou algo muito importante. O luto é a forma de assumir as consequências psicofetivas e o processo de adaptação emocional. Possui várias dimensões: emocional, física, cognitiva, filosófica e comportamental. Devemos atender a todos eles e revisá-los, uma vez que estão integrados, afetando todo o nosso comportamento. O processo de luto tem suas etapas:

  • Aceite a realidade: essa fase inicial é mais difícil e pode desencadear atitudes de negação, evasão, raiva ou frustração.
  • Experimente a realidade: assuma a situação e negocie com nós mesmos como vamos enfrentá-la.
  • Sinta plenamente as emoções: ative nossa inteligência emocional, identificando nossas emoções, que podem ser contraditórias (tristeza-alegria, raiva-medo), para processar e agir de acordo.
  • Adapte-se e aprenda a viver a ausência: fechando o processo em que aceitamos a perda. 

Não há receitas, fórmulas, para viver esse processo. Sua duração e intensidade dependem de muitos fatores: o tipo de perda, a proximidade emocional, as circunstâncias em torno da perda.

No meu caso particular, estou vivendo a dor da partida do meu pai, depois de uma longa e dolorosa doença. Durante meses entrei em uma fase pré-duelo, quando percebi que o fim era inevitável. Ainda assim, quando você recebe a chamada, que anuncia a ausência definitiva, as emoções são ativadas e movem todo o seu ser.

Nesse período de abrigo e distância social, os duelos se tornam mais intensos, diante da impossibilidade de abraçar e chorar nos ombros de nossos entes queridos. A despedida é absolutamente simbólica.

Compartilho minha experiência, como uma forma de apoiar outros que estão passando por circunstâncias semelhantes, mas também, como uma parte importante da minha própria cura emocional.

Que ações implementei?

  • Respiração consciente e meditação. Chore, ria e chore de novo. Deixe minhas emoções fluírem, sem questionar se é certo ou errado. Aceite e agradeça mensagens e expressões de afeto e compaixão. Conforte os outros, familiares e amigos, entendendo e compartilhando o sentimento. Caminhe, receba o sol e o ar em seu rosto, ouça a natureza. Beba muitos fluidos, hidrate-se, com sopas e bebidas quentes. Alimente o corpo e a alma. Pare, descanse, durma, até cochilos pequenos. Hora de reiniciar e digerir a situação.
  • Leia, ouça música, canta, lembre-se de momentos agradáveis.
  • Aproveite a tecnologia, conecte-se por chats com a família, chamadas de vídeo e mensagens, que nos mantêm unidos e conectados.
  • Escrever, no meu caso particular, é uma das experiências mais curativas e terapêuticas, que me permite me expressar e compartilhar minha experiência com os outros. 

Convido você a viver sua experiência de luto, plena e saudável, aceitando a ruptura, entendendo que a partir de cada fragmento, de cada lasca, surge um novo surto. A chave é viver plenamente o processo, renovando e florescendo. Quando você quebra, você renasce.

Florinda Pargas Gabaldón

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